


Irish Home Run

by Turtl



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Fantasy, Light Angst, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Not Beta Read, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:07:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21943360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turtl/pseuds/Turtl
Summary: Their team was tightly knit. While not everyone on the team was human, they all shared a close bond.
Kudos: 77





	Irish Home Run

**Author's Note:**

> I made this a while ago and just cleaned up grammar mistakes recently and honestly I uploaded this half for shits and giggles. 
> 
> I do like the concept and I have no impulse control so might make more or make this into a series.
> 
> Liberties were taken.

Their team was tightly knit. While not everyone on the team was human, they all shared a close bond.

You had their leader: Hotch, a constantly grumpy merman who's glare was a lethal weapon and smile could probably cure all diseases. He could survive on land but had to use a device that constantly pumped fresh water into his gills, the device having been designed by the Fae.

The Fae were Garcia’s people, able to be the size of a palm one moment and be human sized the next. Garcia preferred human sized, due to her work, but she would often be seen resting on the shoulder of one Derek Morgan, using dainty wings to tickle him.

Derek himself was a werewolf, looking human for the most part. When it was a full moon, he sort of became like if Hotch was in his water form while on land: all teeth and sharp edges, while Hotch had light absorbent black scales (which made him rather terrifying), Derek had dark fur.

JJ was an elf, beautiful and graceful in every way possible. If it weren't for her long ears, she could just pass as an abnormally beautiful human. Garcia often wondered why she would choose to be an FBI agent over a model.

For a while, Gideon and Elle were the only humans on the team. They were fine with their strange co-workers, used to seeing Non-Humans in different professions.

Until Spencer Reid showed up.

No one really knew what Spencer was. They knew he wasn't human, but they certainly didn't know what species of Non-Human he was. He was an enigma wrapped in a riddle, all while being the genius they all adored and protected.

After the Dowd case, their protective streak became even more prominent. They all cared for their resident smart-arse and wanted to make sure he remained safe. Even Garcia, in all her Fae fierceness had given Reid a telling off after volunteering to confront the madman on the train.

Then, Elle left, unable to deal with the BAU anymore. It had upset Reid, and no one was aware of the dark smoke that slowly seeped from his neck and his joints.

Elle was replaced by Emily Prentiss, a gorgon whom, they soon learned, could actually control her stone turning powers. The only time she could was at a certain time of the month, much to the teams surprise - bar Reid.

“All gorgons are female. Their powers have been found to be directly linked to their menst-" he had been cut off immediately by all three girls unanimously and practically jumping on him. Emily had hissed, JJ had given him one of her mother-looking glares and Garcia had begun to buzz away from her place in front of the monitor.

When Emily’s powers were uncontrollable, she would simply wear a thick cloth around her eyes and use the darkly scaled snakes on her head to see. Garcia had gone to town on that and had taken the opportunity to get Emily a multitude of brightly coloured scarves and cloths that Emily could wear around her eyes. 

They all theorized what Spencer was. He wasn't human, they knew that much. As their Unit Chief, Hotch knew and only teased them with the information that he's almost perfectly human. They couldn't figure it out. They had all, at some point or another, seen him without a shirt and knew he wasn't an angel. He didn't have scales so he wasn't a dragon. His ears were perfectly normal, so there was no way he was an elf. They kept theorizing.

Then, Tobias Hankel happened. They found it terrifying to watch. JJ was close to tears while Garcia was just balling. The rest of the team hated it, wanted to jump through those screens and save Reid and kill Hankel. He was 25 for God's sake. He didn't deserve to play Russian roulette with some DID mental case who was using God as an excuse to kill.

Watching him seize and die was even worse. He stopped breathing and ‘ohmygodwehavetodosomething’ was all any of them (Garcia) could say. When Hankel forced Reid to choose someone on the team to die, they were even more scared. Then - he chose Hotch. Called him a narcissist, then Genesis. Then Hotch was going mad.

“Everybody, right now, what's my worst quality?”

JJ had wanted to speak up, say they didn't have time for this.

“Okay,” Hotch began, “I'll start. I have no sense of humour.”

JJ spoke next. “You're a bully.”

“I'm a bully.”

“You can be a drill sergeant sometimes.” Derek supplied, not really understanding where this was going.

“Right.”

“You don't trust women as much as men.” Emily spoke when Hotch got to her.

“Okay, good. I'm all of these things, but none of you said I put myself above the team, because I don't. Ever. Reid and I argued about the definition of classic narcissism, and he knew that I would remember that. And he also quoted Genesis chapter 23, verse 4. Read it.”

He gave the book to JJ, who read it out loud. “I am a stranger and a sojourner with you. Give me property, forbear a place among you that I may bury my dead out of my sight.”

Once they figured out he purposely got the verse wrong, they managed to find him. Much to everyone's fury, Hankel had been forcing Reid to dig his own grave. When Reid clung to Hotch, no one missed the smoke this time.

Eventually, Gideon left. After he subjected everyone to being a bystander to Reid's suffering, he just left. Everyone was upset, but none more than Spencer. He had been left the note, and he didn't know why. He wasn't given long to think about it, as David Rossi arrived soon after.

With the inclusion of Rossi, their team was now completely Non-Human. Rossi was satyr, much to everyone's amusement. On cases he was much slower than the rest of the team, and everyone teased him for the ‘funny little walk’ he did. When they had all warmed up to each other, Rossi eventually started laughing along with them (it was especially funny when they got drunk and they were falling over each other, no matter what lower halves they had).

Rossi had also joined in the theorizing of Spencer's species. They all read up on different species throughout history, but nothing seemed to make sense.

It wasn't until a few years later that they would even begin to have a clue about Spencer Reid. There were a few things they noticed, with every cut and every bout of high emotion, he would emit smoke. Usually, from his joints and neck, when it was a cut it was always from the cut. It was part of the reason they knew about the drug problem; it's kind of hard to hide smoke pouring from under your sleeve.

When he was shot in the leg, there was more smoke than usual, coming from both ends of the wound. The smoke didn't stop pouring until the wound was stitched up. When Morgan had questioned him about it, Reid simply said it was a part of his species and he didn't really know what else it was. Everyone believed him. Hotch was still recovering (having been placed to heal in a tank, rather than a bed), so Reid didn't want them concerned too much about himself.

Many months later, they finally got their answers. It was rather anticlimactic, all things considered. They had all expected a big reveal, but it hadn't been.

Up until that point, none of them realised Reid had never been properly hit in the head before. They had always been light hits or quick whacks. This had been big.

It was a case that was… boring. They had dealt with bigger things, creepier things. Most of the team felt bad for wanting something more than just an Unsub who hadn't killed anyone and simply targeted humans. They quickly figured out who the Unsub was - a man named Jamie Gardener - and were on their way to his location in a matter of hours since their arrival. They all thanked the fact that it was a quick case.

They all charged the house. They expected a little violence, but not a guy running at them with a baseball bat. They all dived away, but Reid wasn't so quick. He was hit in the jaw, drawing a cry from the doctor. 

Then the room was filled with screams.

Spencer Reid's head went flying off his head, hitting the wall next to him. Though his body remained standing. Immediately, people in the room began screaming, Gardener, Emily and JJ, even Morgan was nearly losing his lunch. The cries didn't stop until -

“Guys, I'm okay!” The voice was small, weak due to a very sore, possibly broken jaw that was very difficult to talk through.

Hotch, ever the calm one, made his way to Reid's head. “C’n we go now?” Came the slurred voice from Spencer Reid's head.

“Oh my god.” JJ exclaimed, hands covering her mouth.

Hotch picked up the head of the genius. The body of the genius, standing headless and emitting a lot of smoke from an empty neck, flailed around for the head. 

Their leader held Spencer's head out, much to his dismay. He groaned at the roughness Hotch was using with his aching head. “C’r’ful.” He slurred.

As soon as the head was replaced, he went down. Suddenly, everyone was unfrozen and had remembered Gardener. He was puking in the corner of the room. Spencer clung to Hotch, wishing he hadn't used his head to speak. So, he didn't.

“Hospital. Now. Gonna pass out. Ow.” His mouth didn't move but there was a sound. “I'll explain everything later. Please call an ambulance!”

With that, he passed out, Hotch now taking all of the genius’s weight.

He woke up in the hospital, not quite remembering what happened. He was groggy and he felt pain in his jaw - oh. That's what happened.

He groaned, opening his eyes slowly. He was met by the faces of his entire team, much to his shock and surprise. He waved to them, or at least tried to. He was still aching all over. For some reason.

“Can you talk?” Morgan asked.

“Sure.” Once again, Spencer's mouth didn't move. It was rather unnerving, but considering his jaw was being kept shut due to it being broken it was their only option.

“You are giving us answers. Whether you want to or not.” That was Emily. She had cloth over her eyes. How long had he been out.

Spencer looked to Hotch, who simply looked at Reid. Despite the guys incredible poker face, he still managed to portray a look of ‘I couldn't stop them if I wanted to’. It made Reid want to punch his boss.

“Can't Hotch explain?” He asked, closing his eyes again.

“No.” Was the chorus of responses.

“Fine. I'm a Dullahan. They're basically headless horsemen. Though, as you can see, I have my head. I can just detach it.” He explained. 

Garcia, from her place next to him, piped up. “You mean those Irish creatures? I thought they went extinct.” 

“So did everyone. Then I was born and hooray, Dullahans are back to endangered." He seemed to be more sarcastic when under the scrutinizing stares of his colleagues. “Now, can I sleep?”

Morgan only laughed. “Sure, Pretty Boy.”

“And don't eat my Jell-O.”


End file.
